I was thinking of giving us a Christmas pay rise but voters always hate that
We could give ourselves Christmas blowjobs
I tried that once, I got close but just ended up with a sore back
I meant the government shouts every federal politician a blowjob at a brothel of their choice
Somehow I don't think that is going to happen
Why the hell not? It's a really good plan
Because we tried it last year and three prostitutes ended up in hospital
Hey nobody said they had to try and upsell, and the reindeers weren't my idea
Please don't remind me, I just ate
Merry Christmas to all. IKT returns January 4th 2010. See you then - President Michael Dolley
